Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Artist's magazine cartoon



Just sold this cartoon today to Artist Magazine. I've been a long-time subscriber and I've found it to be a valuable resource, sometimes it could be a tip from another artist on how he approaches his art . . the articles are well written and it is loaded with talent .  Every issue gets read and reread, inspiring.


Cartoon of the week


Monday, December 28, 2009

Crazy

 A loonie is praying in a room, and another loonie asks, " What are you doing ? "
" Keeping the elephants away. "
" There are no elephants here. "
" See. "

Milton Berle

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Jest in Sports ( Daily comic panel, picked up by United Media )

This daily panel ran on the internet for about almost a year and a half, before it was dropped by United Media . . I don't know, I kinda liked it, but I guess it just wasn't consistently strong enough day after day after day . .  I'm showing here just a few of the ones I liked.

 
 

Cartoon of the Day


Friday, December 25, 2009

Passing on some Wisdom




Just shortly I received one of these uplifting reminder emails everyone has probably gotten in one version or another  about this time of the year. Then there is one that stands out . . it was THIS one . . God, could we all use this advice . . To some people it's just another piece of email rubbish . . to the student who is "ready" it is something he copies and slips in his briefcase to carry throughout his life as a reminder of how to keep sane in this quirky world . . 

It went like this: 

How to stay young:
1.   Throw out nonessential numbers.  This includes age, weight and height.  Let the doctors worry about them.

2.   Keep only cheerful friends.  Grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.  Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.  'An idle mind is the devil's workshop. '

4.  Enjoy the simple things.  Worry about nothing.  Pray for everything.

5. Laugh often. long and loud.  Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.  Tears happen.  Endure, grieve, and move on.  The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

7.  Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.  Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:  If it is good, preserve it.  If it is unstable, improve it.  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.  Don't take guilt trips.  Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county: to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.  Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.  Be ALIVE while you are alive.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take . . but by the moments that take our breath away.

Now's a good time to start!

Merry Christmas


Cartoon of the Day


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wisdom/Truth

Success is getting what you want.  Happiness is wanting what you get.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Milton Berle on education

" Then there was the man who cut classes in correspondence school.  He sent in empty envelopes."

MILTON BERLE 

A couple Milton Berle Zingers

" If you think nothing is impossible, try getting your name off a mailing list. "

----------------------------------------------------------


" You can always tell a host at a party.  He's the one watching the clock. "

This guy, Milton Berle, bless his soul, was one of my favorites of the old timers . . great delivery and timing . .  He had the bad reputation of stealing gags from other stand-up comics all his life . . he even joked about it himself when he would refer to himself as " The Thief of Bad Gags. "  ( Ouch ! )

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

WISDOM - -On Insanity

I'm going to try something

else, in an effort to fix the

disappearing line.

This time, I'm only going to

put so many words in a line.

I think I solved it !


Thought for the day - -

" I yam what I yam. "

( Popeye )

Thanks to Erv Kaczmarek

for the suggestion.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Easyriders cartoon - Roy Delgado




This drawing appears on page 24 as a spot in

this biker mag.  It's an old cliche situation that

I never get tired of . . this is what happens to

your mind when you watch too many

Three Stooges movies . . at least that is my

story and I'm sticking to it.

I'm trying this double-spacing to avoid the

disappearing line of copy here and there.

Lessee wot happens now . . Ha !


Cartoon of the Day


Today

For some unknown reason, I've encountered a few problems with the last few blogs . .
When I post it, I notice that sometimes a whole line disappears in the body of copy of my rant or blather . . When it first happened, I went back and edited it and retyped in the missing words or sentence.  Unfortunately to no avail, so I tried to fix it again . . and the same thing happened . . it remained screwed up, so now, I'll just leave it with the missing words and add it to the list of unexplained phenomenas like The Bermuda Triangle, etc.

It seemed to happen more frequently when I switched to Courier Italic
thinking the typeface would have a more familiar ' newspaper-look '  to it . . so now I'll try THIS typeface: VERDANA, and see how this works.

I'll leave this with one of my personal favorite quotes, ( Whom I just found who the author was )


"If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work another day in your life. "

  - Confucius

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Playboy Jan-Feb Cartoon

This drawing appears on page 188 of the January-February issue just out.  Hef has started to combine January-February and June-July issues in an effort to help the bottom line . . The editorial duties in this reorganization plan will still be tightly controlled by his staff, no big changes there . . but the actual printing of the magazine will be down in Florida with a conglomerate who also prints a large group of well known magazines including The National Enquirer ! 

Times they are a changin' . . with all the stuff on the internet, and much of it free, it has hit the old " Girlie" magazines hard . . you haven't heard the term " Girlie magazines" used in a long time . . Yeah . . there were a lot of them, and Playboy was at the top, King of the Hill, since its inception . . with at least 25 imitators over the years.  What many people still do not know is that Hugh Hefner, personally chooses every one of the cartoon purchases . . Hef has always believed that the cartoon is a very important part of the magazine . . and has always stayed 'hip' and diverse in showcasing the very best cartoon art of the times . . reason that you see more and more BETTER ( Not GOOD-BAD, but BETTER ) " New Yorker " cartoonists than ever displaying their wares in this giant of a magazine.


Cartoon of the Day


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Snow in Maysville

They called for the worse snow in 30 years . . I remember distincly the blizzard of '93 . .

 This time the snow started falling last night just before dark . . And . .  this time I thought I was going to be smart . . My big-brained plan for the next blizzard was to let it fall maybe about six inches or so, then get into my Tahoe and drive it down the driveway ( about 40 yards ) to the road.

This would create a "path" so then I could wait another hour or so, then repeat the drill, I would continue this over and over every hour or so, by constantly doing this I would not get stuck up here with 3 feet of snow like last time., and I figured that even if it snowed 3 feet again . . I would do it the smart way.

The problem with the great plan, I fell asleep watching Casablanca and when I woke up in the early A.M.., I looked outside and it was too late . . it looked like it was already over two feet and it was coming down steady . . . So I scrapped the plan . . waited till it subsided and about 9 A.M. shovelled out about six feet out from the house and quit . . little by little . . I thought I'd clear a path to my car which is still about 50 ft. from my house. 

Now the blizzard is still on, steady coming down but at least I'll get 'em next year.

All of this looks so ridiculous to a guy from Tucson, Arizona . . used to the sun and cactus 365 days a year.

I live about 3 miles out of the city of Petersburg, WV . . .   So my actual street address is in an unincorporated town called Maysville.  ( Very much like Mayberry on TV, every now and then, I swear I see Don Knotts in town, he WAS actually from West Virginia ).

Just looked out and saw six deer 20 feet from my window scrounging around looking for something to eat.

Have filled the 3 birdhouses on my porch 3 times in the last 24 hours . . They know where they can always find a good meal in a blizzard, around here the word travels fast . . . Bluejays, Cardinals, Crows, Snowbirds . . Woodpeckers, Finches . .  all within 6 feet from my window . . boy, Rocky and Midnight, my two cats go nuts just watching the feeding, their tails swaying back and forth and their ears perking up . . once, Rocky jumped and hit the glass window with his head, forgetting that he was inside the house . .

Shut up and keep drawing.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Leatherneck cartoon 2010

Here is a drawing which appears on page 35 in the December issue of the official magazine of the Marines.  I sold my first cartoon to Leatherneck in May of 1956 while stationed on Okinawa . . The Cartoon Editor at the time was Staff Sergeant Gordon Bess . . as many know later sold the comic " RED EYE " strip to King Features Syndicate and is still out there . .  the last I heard being drawn by the great cartoonist Mel Casson who does a really great job in continuing the flavor of the comic.



PVT. ZILCH - Rare 1968 Cartoon Book


The MORE ZILCH book was the last of the Zich stuff . . by then, the Vietnam war was raging and a military solution to solving problems was not very popular and the streets were full of sometimes educated long haired Rock and Rolling left leaning reefer people to make the statement that all wars are immoral.  ( Cheeez, where were these guys during a Genghis Khan ( Chinggis Khaan ) "coming home parade" after a recent pillaging ) Hm-m-?


I notice this old book of mine recently posted on ebay by someone who wants to sell it for $85.00.

Originally it retailed for $1.00.  I have one good copy on my bookshelf left.  My, I wish they would have sold for $85.00 in 1968.

The way this happened was that while stationed on Okinawa with the Marines in 55-56-57 I was assigned to Headquarters G-3 Intelligence with the Third Marine Division at Camp Hague ( Named after a Corporal Hague, a Marine hero in the battle of Okinawa in '45 ) . . At that time I was drawing this character, Pvt Zilch in a comic panel for the Division Newspaper, The Triad, a weekly paper which was published for the troops on the island by The Star-News Publishing company owned by a U.S. civilian, Jim Servites.  This printer also published other newspapers throughout the island.  Jim, being an entrepenuer, noticed my cartoons and gave me a phone call one day and asked me if I was interested in him publishing a book of cartoons about Pvt. Zilch and where I could make a few bucks.  I jumped at the chance, I think it was 10% of the retail price, $1.00, and would be sold only on the island in military PXs and commissaries.  Since I didn't have enough material for a book, I created a whole bunch of cartoons aimed expressly for the troops . . many were inside jokes . . very corny and very bad . . I only have ONE book left on my shelf with a partial torn cover ( shown here ) and one without a cover.

This was actually the FIRST book on Zilch ever published, and was sold only on the island. 

So what happened, apparently a book publishing company, Charles Tuttle Publishers, who had many titles in the military Pxs throughout the far east saw the Pvt.Zilch book and gave me a phone call about publishing a collection of cartoons based on this ( corny ) character Pvt . Zilch.  They said they had a good distribution network throughout the far east and I jumped again at the chance. The book as I said sold for a buck and I received royalty checks for a couple years. 

Since it did fairly well, Tuttle asked for a sequel and so I did More Zilch, another 5x7 pocket book for Tuttle in 1970., whih also sold for a buck.

Cartoon of the Day


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Reminder on rejection and persistence

 Thanks to Writer's Digest, from a short piece a few years ago . . by Miryam Williamson.  The focus and title of the short lesson, I think, perfect for cartoonists was: ZEN AND THE ART OF PERSISTENCE.

   I keep a copy of it handy when outside forces and other people's opinions have a way of creeping in to try to rain on your parade . . article went . .  

ROBERT PERSIG sent ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE to niney-two publishers before it found a home . .  you read right . . 92 publishers before it found a home.  I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't heard him say it myself  ( On NPR, not to me ).  You and I should be so unsuccessful.

Keep on sending that manuscript out.  Have a plan to send it to someone else when and if it comes back.  Make a list and work your way through it.  Don't let a returned manuscript sit on your desk for more than 24 hours.  Don't give up.  There's a publisher for every book that has a writer's skill and love in it.

Jest Sports

This is a sample of the daily comic panel which ran on the internet for a year and a half before being scrapped by United Media a couple years ago . . I kinda liked it, still think it has merit and may be revived again . . who knows.  The comic was about all kinds of sports, and I thought there was something in there for everyone . . but what the hell do I know or, THEY know.



Sunday, December 13, 2009

wisdom

" Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men. "

 - CONFUCIUS

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Cartoon of the Decade

If this wasn't so sad, it might be funny in a strange sort of way . .
Try to picture this . . you go back in a time machine, you are back there , you are one of the guys on foot, it's 1099 A.D.  You were told it was a " necessary " war . . a "good" war . .  ( knowing what you know now ) . . Man, give me a break . . Where is George Carlin when you need him ?



Friday, December 11, 2009

wisdom

" To know is to know that you know nothing. "

CONFUCIUS

Cartoon of the month

One of my favorite cartoons, been kicking around . . Of course it was rejected by the big fella at the Gnu Yokuh . . . I don't know, I kinda liked it and  I can clearly see it in The New Yorker done by Cullum or Ziegler . . or Diffee or Kanin or Weyant . . WOW !   I can see it as clear as ever . . crystal clear . . just visualize it . . several people have told me to forget about the New Yorker . . they say screw 'em . . actually, I don't WORRY about the New Yorker . . and although people think I'm beating up on myself, or I'm perceived that way . .  with  "The New Yorker Tirades and Rants " I go on . . actually it's just the way I have fun . . It's the way I try to entertain . . . You'll have to take my word for it . . If you like it, fine, but I don't need help or soothing from anyone, because I KNOW who I am and I KNOW that I know . . . occasionally bending people out of shape like Pat Byrnes . .  is part of the fun . . A lot of the people from Chicago like Jeramiah Wright, Father Pfleger, Bill Ayers . . the Kool Aid drinkers are embarrassing to the rest of the good folk in the city . . Even some of the cartoonists have been heard to drink the juice because it is served all the way up and around Daly's machine, I heard . . they also make a mean Chicago Style hot Dog . . my favorite.  Although it's a powerful machine, you have to kind of feel sorry for a lot of them . . .
I always go back to what I learned a long time ago from a very wise man:  " You better be careful what you believe. "

I don't care what anybody says, I'm not gonna screw The New Yorker . . whatever that means  .
Wouldn't it be something, I win the lottery and BUY Conde Nast and bring back Gourmet magazine WITH cartoons ! 



As confucius so wisely said:  " When you know that you know that you know what you don't know, that is enlightenment. "  He also said about five versions of this saying . . Nuf sed.  Shut up and keep drawing ( and writing ).

wisdom

" When you're through learning, you're through. "

VERNON LAW

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Gag Recap cover cartoon - April 2006




This drawing graced the cover of the trade journal, it was one of about a dozen I'd done for the magazine, poking fun at the state of the New Yorker cartoon scene . . all of the material I used in these gags were either stuff I heard repeated by other cartoonists in cartoonists' get-togethers or obvious gags . . . more or less, for lack of a better word, were actually gossamers . . .  not anything that was personal or libelious, I would think, just satire for satire's sake, and to most cartoonists, they thought they were funny . . . you could tell by the mail that came in to the magazine and to two personal phone calls I received coming to my defense from cartoonists I had never met, after an award-winning New Yorker cartoonist from Chicago wrote an arrogant, stupid narrow-minded rant of a letter saying ( as if he was the authority ) that " Roy Delgado is not smart enough to sell to The New Yorker ."  ( You wanna bet ? ) According to him, because of the way I was ''assaulting" the magazine . . . He-ll-o-w-w . ., anyone home ? ( Hell, he's assaulting ME ! ) , I think he drinks  from the same punch bowl that Jeramiah Wright, Father Pfleger, Bloggo, Bill Ayers and people in that same neighborhood do . . it must be the water . .  

 ( Actually, YOU will never be my friend, because of the way you are assaulting me, moron. ).  You meet the nicest guys in this business . . Well, the overwhelming people you meet in this business are normal talented pretty good guys . . in fact they are a cut above most people . .  As they say in the Marine Corps . . there's always that 10% . . . ( They used to say 4% ) 

Well, if anyone out there has seen the movie " Taken" . . . I'm the Ex-CIA guy who is going to save his daughter . . . sooner or later you run into a guy like me . . . moron. . .

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wisdom ( Write this one down )

" Wisdom oftimes consists of knowing what to do next. "

HERBERT HOOVER

( If you have ADD or ADS or AD LIKE I DO, IT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS PARAMOUNT IN IMPORTANCE EVERY SECOND, EVERY MINUTE . . ALL THE TIME, 24 HOURS A DAY . . I SOMETIMES WONDER HOW PEOPLE COPE AS WELL AS THEY DO WHO ARE AFFLICTED WITH THIS DISORDER . . REGARDLESS OF THE ATTENTION DEFICIT COMMENT ABOVE, IT IS STILL A MIND BLOWING PEARL OF WISDOM STATEMENT TO ME. )

MY ONLY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW IS I KEEP RUNNING OUT OF TIME, EVERY DAY, FOR ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO DO AND I INTEND TO DO . . I FEEL THAT I HAVEN'T SCRATCHED THE SURFACE ON WHAT IS UP AHEAD, PROJECTS THAT MUST BE ACCOMPLISHED . . ALL THE INFORMATION IS THERE, THE ABILITY IS THERE, THE KNOW-HOW IS THERE . . IF I ONLY HAD A LITTLE MORE TIME . . . Sometimes I feel like I'm getting shafted . . The world gets 24 hours a day . . and I feel like I'm only getting about 20 hours . . but I'm used to it . . all I know, is if I had 24 hours a day like everyone else and a had a degree in English from an Ivy league school, I'd be dangerous !
Nuf sed for today . . have a nice day !

Something to think about . .

 If you lived in the Dark Ages, and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, " Can't you make it shoot farther ? "

And I'm sure the answer would be, " No, I'm sorry.  That's as far as it shoots. "

Cartoon of the day


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Wisdom

" If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone. "

JACK HANDEY - 1994

Monday, December 7, 2009

Wisdom

" Cooperation is doing what you have to do with a smile what you have to do anyway. "

 - ANNONYMOUS

Cartoon of the day

Frisbee got off to a slow and painful start, and it was hundreds of years before you could say it " caught on ".

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Afghan surge we need . .

This is the type of surge we need carried out in Afghanistan . . train more dogs that are "enemy dogs " . . no "good dogs" should be used in this campaign . . who knows? it MIGHT work . . it's worth a try.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The New Yorker

Softback, 6x9, 107 pages, jam packed collection of cartoons, mostly reprints from major magazines . . almost all of them are New Yorker magazine rejected cartoons . . . this book is available right here from this blog . . only $10.00. and price includes shipping and handling for a buck more . . Total, $11.00.  Simply send $11.00 to my address. with a short note which simply says " NYer Book ", that's it.  Limited quantities are available here or you can always go to Amazon for approximately the same price . . .  I'm showing a few cartoons right here that are in the book . . .  

Cartoon of the day