Medical advice

" I tell you I don't get no respect.
Why, the Surgeon General, he offered me a cigarette. "

RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cartoon of the Day

I always love cartoons with a medical setting, it has so much that everyone can relate to in having visited doctors and quacks in our lifetimes. Quacks, sheister lawyers, shady businessmen, I've had my share of experiences with these dregs while I was in business for 25 years . . I think it helps to have a good sense of humor when you've gotten the short end of the stick . . of course it's funnier when bad things happen to someone else, right?

Barron's Cartoon - 2003

This drawing appeared on page T3, November 10
( Marine Corps Birthday ). The drawing was colored with pastels except for the two suits which were done with Prismacolor markers because of the way you can do a large area without leaving ' brushmarks '.

Wisdom

" Whatever with the past has gone,
the best is always yet to come. "

LUCY LARCOM

Cartoon of the Day

Blind men and porno movies

" I saw a blind man rent a porno video.
He must really like bad music. "

MARK GROSS

Cartoon of the Week

Remember, you guys . . never pick up hitchhikers . . unless it's part of your community service.

Bad Luck

" I don't get no respect. The time I got hurt,
on the way to the hospital the ambulance
stopped for gas. "

RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cartoon of the Day

Barron's color cartoon ( 2003 )

This drawing appeared o page 45 in the October 20 issue, as you can see it was finished in color upon their request . . at this time they started using color to break up the columns of monotnous 'grey' type page after page of small boring type. This cartoon was colored using pastel chalks and soft pastel pencils and a smudge technique. All three uniforms were colored
using prisma color felt tip markers. By using these markers you're able to get a solid color in a large area without any overlapping ' brush ' marks.

Wisdom

" Sieze the hour. "

SOPHOCLES

Cartoon of the Day

Imagine getting mugged and the S.O.B. tells you something like this. You almost feel sorry for him. He needs a good doctor like the one I've got for the same thing.

Cartoon of the week

Cartoon of the Day

Where have all the slave ships gone ?

Funny Times Cartoon

Here's another recent cartoon from the current June Issue. Reminds me of the lines in a song of the 60's by SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE . . where he implied that a lot of the current problems were because we had
so many ' educated fools from uneducated schools . . '

Funny Times Cartoon

This drawing is in the June issue. Things never change. S.O.S.

Enlightened moment

" I work for a good cause . . 'cause I need the money ! "

Cartoon of the Day

I like animal and bird cartoons, they're a riot.

Solution for yellow teeth

" I don't get no respect. I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie. "

RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cartoon of the Day

It's a wonder this guy isn't charged more often . . or he hasn't been shot . .

Wisdom of the Day

" The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them
would never wear the same outfit in public. "

PHYLIS DILLER

Inside The Big House

Never bring a knife to a gunfight -

Wisdom ( Worth writing down )

" One just has to be oneself. That's my basic message.
The moment you accept yourself as you are, all burdens,
all mountainous burdens, simply disappear.
Then life is a sheer joy, a festival of lights.

BHAGWAN SHREE RAJNEESH Indian Spiritual Advisor

New Yorker Cover ( Satire )

At least it LOOKS like a NYer cover . . I can see it now . . Mankoff says: " Wait a minute . . how the hell did THAT get by me ? Pretty soon, ANYBODY will be let in . . Where's the door man ?

Wisdom

" I have learned more from my mistakes
than from my successes.

SIR HUMPHRY DAVY 1778 - 1829
English Chemist and Inventor

New Yorker Rejection Slip - 2008

This is the Rejection slip The New Yorker SHOULD be using . . It would be crystal clear why you were turned down . . . no wondering . . your idea was funny, yes . . BUT . . well . . uh-h . . . your stuff just wasn't QUITE right for us . . uh-h . . . yeah . . Go look up the word GOSSAMER

Wisdom ( Write this one down )

" Don't be afraid to take a big step
if one is indicated.
You can't cross a chasm
in two small jumps. "

DAVID LLOYD GEORGE 1863 - 1945
British Prime Minister and Statesman

Cartoon of the Week - The big fish

The person on the grassy knoll ?

" The man was a bigot and a bedwetter.
He used to go to Ku Klux Klan meetings
wearing a rubber sheet. "

WOODY ALLEN

JFK death - Grassy knoll accomplice revealed

Mitch Hedberg knows a lot about cars . .

" I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's
headlights and tell exactly which way
it's coming. "

MITCH HEDBERG

What is a Foreign Car ?

I heard a report that in another 15 years there will not be an American car which is manufactured in the U.S. All will have names unfamiliar like the old cars . . names might even be like the one in this cartoon.

Wisdom ( on Sports )

You know the basketball game is decided when
the white guys come in. "

JASON LOVE

" It's easy to draw like you can't draw if you can't draw . . it comes naturally. "

After studying and studying the content of cartoons in The New Yorker I came to the conclusion, as I'm sure others did . . I know too much ! As someone once said about democracy ( I think he was the ambassador from Turkey, " It's like putting toothpaste back in the tube again . . once it's out, you can't get it back in again! ) Richter tried it at the end and couldn't do it, The great Bob Weber has tried it and is a little more successful, but it looks contrived, over-acting . . He knows too much ! He has difficulty when he attemps it, but he's so great he can keep doing it for awhile.

Hell, it's easy to draw like you can't draw if you can't draw . . it comes naturally.

The gags are no problem . . on this particular drawing I tried something different ( to compete with some of the sorry pseudo-cartoonists who now appear . . . . I did this drawing ( after a pencilling in, ) 20% with my left eye closed, 20% with my right eye closed, 10% with both eyes closed, 30% with my left hand and the rest of it with my eyes blinking !

That's how desperate you get . . amazingly I'm getting close . . unbelieveable . . I kinda like it, but maybe I could even come closer to what The Mankoffer likes if I had 3 double-shots of Johnnie Walker Blue 15 minutes BEFORE I start drawing.

New Yorker Cartoon Reject

One of over 19000 cartoons rejected from the magazine. Someone asked me WHY do you keep sending when they keep rejecting ? I'd like someone to ask them why do you keep rejecting these cartoons over and over, WHY ?

Wisdom ( Write this down, right now )

" When you get into a tight place and
everything goes against you, till it seems
as though you could not hang on a minute longer,
never give up then, for that is just the place
and time that the tide will turn. "

HARRIET BEECHER STOWE 1811-1896
American Author and Social reformer