" In social everyday situations, it is not necessarily WHAT you say that counts, but HOW you say it . . . ( Example: Almost everyone has been taught to speak politely and say it " nice " when you can, because you know that you usually get better results by talking in a civil tone to people. ) We all know that.
HOWEVER, in verbal communications having to do like in an especially heated discussion or a friendly dialogue of ideas . . what is most important is what you MEAN by what you say . . NOT what you actually said . . " ( Example: Someone says: " I'll kill him the next time I see him. " . . . does not actually mean he will commit murder . . it's the CONTEXT in which it was used, we all know that. ) Here, it DOESN"T MATTER HOW YOU SAID IT.
AND STILL, THE BIG EXCEPTION IS IN LAW . . IN LAW, IT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE TWO EXAMPLES ABOVE . . . .
What is most important in LAW, is EXACTLY, EXACTLY what you said, or especially what is the EXACT WRITTEN WORD in the document, that you agreed to, and signed your name, not under duress . . . that counts.
The wisdom comes is being able to differentiate which set of the above to apply in a paticular situation you find yourself in . . . and having both parties agree in which realm you are both operating . .